Grace.

"And I believe there is something here to be learned of grace.
Because I can't help but love you."

I will be a more understanding person.
A giving person.
A loving person.
A forgiving person.
A humble person.

No more drugs. no more drunk rocky. no more treating girls like whores.

Time to grow up.

Filling In The Clocks

I hear this life's an hour glass, don't you dare wake
Charge for the clouds, rip the chain off your chest
It's never too late to be whoever you want to be
The earth is empty, the sun clashes with your eyes
Clouds part there way the light shines through my cries
Let all the men sink in
Get more of these bloody hands
Come closer my child
Gather your hands don't you fear me

Selfishness

Regardless of my views on Christianity and Christ, it seems like I've given into the idea of giving. We as humans naturally are evil. We would do just about anything for our survival and almost nothing will stop us. I've noticed selfishness is a big part of this evil that lives within us. I want to become a nicer giving person with a heart the size of the ocean and an open mind the size of the stars. It's a long journey to be good. But I'm well on my way to find the truth and I'll be swaying to the good side a lot more.

There is God.
Below God a Devil.
Below the Devil, Us.
The Devil's clouded our nature.
We have to fight the evil to get to the greater good.
That's our job.
To keep our morals pure.

Wired.

I am annoyed of everything and everyone.
I don't know why, I don't know how.
I just am.
It's not that I hate anyone.
I don't hate anything.
Today was the first time I've felt dizzy from being wired.
From the crumbs on the bathroom floor to going to forever 21.
It was pure annoyance.
I almost burst into tears when things didn't go my way.

Could it be I have a bipolar disorder?
Could it be I am that much of a fucking baby?
What was it that caused all this.

I'm scared..
Maybe it's everything finally catching up to me.
I'm still dizzy and I can't think straight.

I need to step it down a notch before I hurt someone.
I even let my sister walk home alone.
Yes, I am that annoyed.

Weird. I've never been high off of annoyance.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

My mind is slowly slipping away.

Over the tiniest things.... god I need to see a psychiatrist. fast.
I've tried everything to make myself feel better.

I took it out on my poor loves.
How do I crawl out of this state of mind?